Indiana Jones and the Errant Canine


DOG- (noun)a domesticated canid, Canis familiaris,  bred in many varieties, disappears to the phrase “time to go on your lead”, especially if said with a Cardiff accent

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Disappointingly for the majority of you this isn’t a blog about fictitious American archaeologists battling their dentists in search of the tooth fairy (if you’re reading this Spielberg hands off, i thought of it first) but about dogs and their sixth sense. In particular my dog and its ability to understand and implement Sods Law.

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As we continue to wait with baited breath the imminent arrival of the prince of darkness/new baby (you decide which) it has fallen to me to do the regular dog walk. Holly (the dog) has chosen this is her time to turn from cute doggy to rebellious insolent teenager from hell on a particularly bad day. After months of doing what she`s told, her sixth sense has reliably informed her now would be an opportune moment to take it upon herself to ignore me and refuse to follow instructions with a breathtaking level of civil disobedience.

Most people get dogs like Gelert bravely defending their owners children from viscous wolves, i get dogs who bugger off in a forest and leave me traipsing around it in a vain search as they traipsed off home. Just what i need when i`m waiting for my partners waters to break, a ninja dog doing a bunk leaving me walking around a forest shouting “Holly” to a gang of mildly perplexed squirrels.

perplexed squirrel

Well the foots in the other boot now, she can stay on her lead until when/if the child ever decides to put in an appearance. Now all i have to do is deal with the colossal level of guilt she will make me feel. With Holly`s ability to induce colossal levels of guilt maybe she should consider going for the role of Pope, then again maybe i shouldn’t try putting ideas in her head right now. Probably best left on her lead to muse over her plans for my assassination and world domination like a really evil Stewie Griffin.

hols- evil personified

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